Behind the Masque Part 5

Eternal Silence

Don't forget to read from the beginning or Part 4: Mirror Reflections

Everything stood still as the dragon stood over me and I--trapped between the dragon's glistening white teeth and the cold of the ground--trembled. She reared her head back, preparing for the kill and I closed my eyes. I imagined my step sister waiting for me to return, our parents milling around with the other guests.  Smiling faces would be the last image in my mind if I could help it.

Behind the Masque

A twenty first birthday filled with music, dancing, and magic. Part horror, part fantasy, join the main character for a discovery of the unknown.

The following short story contains a total of 5 parts.

Click or use the arrow keys to turn the page

Behind the Masque

1

Part 1: The Quiet Before the Storm

That night was the night I watched myself die. Full of music--rhythms and melodies carrying masked faces from one end of the polished dance floor to the other--it was a beautiful night. Ladies in their finest dresses and men in elegant suits, all swirling about. A masquerade ball transported from the 19th century in honor of our--my step sister and I--twenty first birthday. That night was planned to perfection; we had set out to create the illusion of magic bewitching our guests into a perfect fairy tale. We hardly knew that there was a real magic present in our perfect illusion, a magic that we couldn't control.

Perched against a porcelain column near the wall with my step sister, who had successfully hidden her the cast of her broken leg beneath the shimmering pomegranate layers of her dress, I swayed to the music, murmuring our guesses at the identities of our masked guests. I could tell that behind the sequins and feathers carefully set over my sister's eyes, she was day dreaming--a vision of herself, twirling about some handsome gentleman's arm. She was always the romantic one--the princess--between the two of us, while I was content in the shadows, alone and unaffected.

Moonlight cascaded through the large

2

windows, mixing with candle light to give that soft romantic aura to our party. Guests nodded their polite hellos as they danced pass us, unable to recognize the hostesses, and sauntered away into the music. I wondered how long it would take for people to find us out, secretly dreading the moment I would have to join the band on stage, take the microphone, and shed my mask. If I had known anything about the turmoil that would soon erupt, perhaps I wouldn't have been so hasty to cast away my moment in the spotlight--my chance to be a princess, if only for a moment. But, unfortunately, I was young and naive, traits that are apparently dangerous in my family.

3

Part 2: When the Lights Go Out

Eventually, my step sister would tire of sitting by idly, watching others enjoy what was supposed to be our celebration. She would want her crutches, no matter how they "ruined [her] outfit" and no matter how clumsy they would be on the dance floor. She would protest now, but thank me later; knowing this, I excused myself and wandered towards the bathroom then abruptly turned towards the exit when I was sure she wasn't watching.

The night sky was brilliant, black velvet with glittering stars that twinkled like Christmas lights in the sky. The air was cool and a soft wind rippled in the air--as though the trees were bowing their respect to nature. Behind me, I could hear the sounds of the party, laughter mixed with beautiful music. Only a few paces before me, the car sat in the shadows, parked and vaguely forgotten. Her crutches would be in the backseat which would be easy to retrieve and be on my way.

As I gripped the crutches awkwardly, I turned back towards the party surprised to find it much further in the distance than I had expected--almost twice the distance I remembered.

Oh well. I told myself. You're tired and probably imagining things.

4

I began the walk back, juggling the crutches and the hem of my dress. The more I walked, however, the farther the light of the party went into the distance.

It was as though the building itself, was moving away from me. I stopped, puzzled at what my eyes were telling me. As I stood still watching the lights fade from the horizon, the sound of music because began to dim in my ears. After a moment, the night was quiet except for the murmuring of the wind rippling by.

My eyes began to roam my surroundings as my brain struggled to piece together a logical explanation. To my right there was a shadow--the silhouette of a girl--which was sparkling like nothing I'd ever seen before. And unlike my party, it was moving closer and closer to me.

5

Part 3: An Unexpected Encounter

As she came closer, I realized that it wasn't her dress that was sparkling (which was how my brain rationalized what I saw). My eyes had gone bad or I had lost my mind--because what I saw, even as she entered light of the parking lot, was a shadow: a shadow moving alone, with a sparkling outline remnant of an eclipse star.

It was time to run; my brain was nervously commanding my legs to move but nothing moved. Now was not the time to panic! I willed my body to turn and my legs to move, but again, nothing moved. I was paralyzed, unable to even blink my eyelids. The shadow girl was approaching in her slow ominous pace and she had hexed me so that I could not run. If I could have moved, my body would have been shaking.

Stop fighting.

The voice was in my head. I was sure of it. It

6

was eerily familiar and instead of the comfort a familiar voice should bring, it only made me more afraid. I did the opposite; there was no way I was going to stand there gaping like an idiot while this thing crept closer to me.

I said stop fighting.

She was almost to me and I saw that reason behind the familiarity in the voice. Both the voice and her strangely shadowed face, belonged to me.

7

Part 4: Mirror Reflections

The face that mirrored mine gazed at me menacingly, as the body attached to it circled me as though I were its prey. My pulse was racing--an amusement to my frightening doppelganger. Her sly smirk revealed teeth that sparkled whiter than any teeth I'd ever seen. But as the moonlight waxed over us, they began to grow, sharpening into little daggers. She began to contort, as though in pain, and her shape began to change.

Instinct told me I was witnessing a real werewolf attack and logic concluded I wouldn't survive. I shuddered, suddenly free of paralysis. Realizing my freedom, I ran in the direction I thought my party might be; my lungs burned in as the cold air rushed across my screaming vocal cords. I didn't know what was happening, but I didn't intend to find out...

A shadow fell over me as I ran haphazardly--stumbling and tripping over my own feet--and I was forced to look up. It wasn't a werewolf.

Glimmering purple scales, black horns, and razor sharp talons were flying not so far above me. The wind from her wings beat me as though I were no more than a piece of grass and even in my fear, I marveled. Trapped on the ground, I knew I couldn't out run the creature and I wondered what type of sorcery this was.

The dragon brought her head so close to

8

mine, I could see my reflection in her silvery eyes and feel the breath from her nostrils in my hair. So many questions ran through my mind, I couldn't think straight. Why did she appear to me as me? Where did she come from? And most importantly, was she just amusing herself with my fear or would she actually kill me?

9

Part 5: Eternal Silence

Everything stood still as the dragon stood over me and I--trapped between the dragon's glistening white teeth and the cold of the ground--trembled. She reared her head back, preparing for the kill and I closed my eyes. I imagined my step sister waiting for me to return, our parents milling around with the other guests. Smiling faces would be the last image in my mind if I could help it.

I felt a rush of heat, followed by a searing pain in my sides. So this was it--death at 21 years old. I wondered what my obituary would say; surely no one would guess I was killed by a dragon. As the pain grew, spreading from my sides into my arms and legs, I wondered how long it would take to die.

Now that death was inevitable, I became curious as to what this journey would entail. Would there be a white light? A tunnel? Would I be ferried from the world of the living to the world of the dead by some "Angel of Death?" Or what I simply breathe my last breath and cease to exist.

After a few moments passed I heard someone screaming. It was a language I didn't understand--or did I? There was something vaguely familiar about the words in my ears. I opened my eyes, against my better judgment, and my world

10

became unfamiliar. It wasn't the same; I can't explain what changed, but it had. I was no longer on the ground, but up in the air.

Below me my mother was the one yelling--not scared or surprised, but chanting passionately as though she knew exactly what was happening. She shook her fingers in an odd gesture toward me then reached below me as though she were lifting someone to their feet. That's when I saw myself--still lying on the ground, accepting her hand and rising to my feet. But it wasn't me--I was in the air above, caught in the dragon's clutches.

"Momma!" I screamed out, begging her to come back for me.

The sound escaping from my lungs was not what I expected. I tried to reach my hand upward to scratch my head and realized that although I could not perform the task, my hand was unbound. Nothing was holding me. I wasn't in the dragon's claws. I was the dragon and the dragon had taken my place.

Smiles

Turn the music on
Let the rhythms shake the speakers
The world gets still,
      Time slows down
And I'm the only one moving.
Smile--all over my face,
Laughter in my song

Invincible

There comes a point
Where everything becomes heavy--
Twenty ton dumbbells
Weighted across my neck--
Pressing down on my windpipe,
Suffocating me slowly...
I hear vertebrae shattering
Somewhere in my spine

Stoic Streams

The flush of heat beneath my skin
Gives way to the grit of my teeth
And I see fire burning in my eyes
--I can't stop myself from screaming out
My hands are not mine to control
The lashing and the thrashing,
It's my voice but my anger's words...
Twisted frustration untangling itself
A futile attempt at snapping back
The desire of its original shape
--But its origins are lost in boiling blood
Replaced with raging reds,
Silenced by stoic streams--
Silent containers of my inner turmoil,
Pumping anger from my veins
Dispelling my toxins.

Lazy Sunrise

Soft rays stretch upward, into view
And a red haze drifts across the sky
Blankets the horizon in a golden glaze
As light battles the fading dark;
Sound softs embedded in the red hues
Flittering through my ears lazily
Brighting my eyes involuntarily
And I see gold in the distance,
Waiting for me.

Behind the Masque Part 4

Mirror Reflections

Don't forget to read from the beginning or Part 3: An Unexpected Encounter

The face that mirrored mine gazed at me menacingly, as the body attached to it circled me as though I were its prey. My pulse was racing--an amusement to my frightening doppelganger. Her sly smirk revealed teeth that sparkled whiter than any teeth I'd ever seen. But as the moonlight waxed over us, they began to grow, sharpening into little daggers. She began to contort, as though in pain, and her shape began to change.

StarFire

At night, when light fades
And darkness prevails,
I gaze up at the star filled sky
In wonder...
And I wonder,
Up there--out yonder,
Death is a brilliant firework
A beautiful remembrance
Of a light burning out.
How can fire be so beautiful?
And I can only hope
When my time comes,
I burn brilliantly--
Overwhelm the world in passion
And explode in a blaze.

Another One Bites the Dust

I wanted to give you
The benefit of the doubt,
I wanted to believe
That it was coincidence,
But the truth is apparent,
The evidence, abundant.

When will this madness stop?

I want to forget,
To think of positive matters,
Disappear in the moment,
Fall into the story
And enjoy the ride,
But even at face value
Something is amiss...

Beautiful Day

Worry --
Beads on my arm
Like a sticky heat--
Uncomfortable beads
Rippling down my forehead,
Roll of my lashes
And burn my eyes
At the rising of the sun.

But I turn away,
Let the orange and yellow
Flood my pupils
Erase my mind
And reset my pulse...

Calm--
Chirped melodies
Drifting through my ears
Tickle my soul
And pull my strings,
Up--
      out of the covers,
Out--
     into the world.

Memories

Hidden away,
In a dusty box,
On top of a shelf--
Not quite forgotten,
Barely gleaming
And unpolished.

Wrapped snug
In dark material
Soft to the touch--
Once worn, engraved,
Barely remembered
And unnecessary

Ancient

Beneath the sand of ancient dunes
Carved in stone, some unknown rune
This beautiful language of forgotten lore
Untold knowledge, secrets, legends, and more.
Hidden there beneath my weary feet
Forgotten and thought to be obsolete
But there's power there, in hidden words
The clear solution to a vision blurred,
And I wish to understand it in my soul,
To bond with it, learn it and gain control.

Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

Wake up,
Do the same dance,
You always do--
Put on the same clothes,
You always do...

And enjoy the moment,
Each one irreplaceable
So make the most of it...
Trying something new,
Don't like it--
Let it go!

Don't worry
About what you don't have,
Or what you wish you could do,
Let it go,
Let the dust settle.

Close your eyes,
Let it go.

Missing Posts

Since I've now officially missed two posts, I thought I'd explain.

The first post missed was due to a paper I needed to write for school (so technically I was still writing :D). Yesterday's post was missed because I was on campus most of the day working, then had a meeting, and didn't get back home until midnight.

Technically I guess this means I've failed the challenge, but I'm enjoying it, so I'm going to continue. Maybe I'll tack on two extra posts at the end of the 365 days to make up for those, or maybe I'll just let them go.  For now I'm just enjoying the ride!

If you have any topic requests, suggestions, or feedback in general, leave a comment below (here or on any of the posts).

Behind the Masque Part 3

An Unexpected Encounter

Don't forget to read from the beginning or Part 2: When the Lights Go Out

As she came closer, I realized that it wasn't her dress that was sparkling (which was how my brain rationalized what I saw). My eyes had gone bad or I had lost my mind--because what I saw, even as she entered light of the parking lot, was a shadow: a shadow moving alone, with a sparkling outline remnant of an eclipse star.

Cake

Cake,
Chocolate drizzle
With sprinkles
Whipped icing--
Strawberries,
And lighted candles;
A beautiful memory
Served in every bite--
Deliciousness
Sliced and laid out
On paper plates.

One Breath Away

Sometimes you give it all you have
And realize you're one breath short
Just one breath away,
But that one breath,
Is the last breath you have...
You could sacrifice your life
For the sake of a dream
Or sacrifice a dream
For the sake of your life,
Knowing that either choice
Will leave your soul devoid...
Defficient...
How could my labors lead me here
One breath away from success
One breath away from defeat,
And the burden of choice
All on me?

Conflict of Interest

A chill, a shiver--I shudder;

My body wasn't meant for this.

I was destined to be born elsewhere,

Destined for a warmer climate--

The desert heat and scorching sun

My body was made for that

Built to protect me from harmful rays

And to flourish in the summer sun,

Not to shudder in ice or snow.

My body doesn't know how to react to this

And its acting out in spite of itself

The Cold Gray

I wake up to a patchwork gray sky
The chill of winter settling in the air.
A silent morning as the birds fly away
The world is still, drifting into a slumber.
Nature calls me to join her,
And the instinct of change rattles me.
Am I flying south to warmer skies
Or can I hide away in natures arms

I'm Wishing on A Star

I wish I could go back
Caress the keys of my childhood
--Softly--
Tell myself a bed time story
And disappear into my own fantasy
Slowly,
Count the stars in the sky,
Infinite wishes waiting
Selfishly...

I wish I could stay there
Wallow in the comfort of my mind
--Recklessly--
Block daylight from my eyes
Create my own world in front of me
--Respectfully--
Fly off the cliff, dive into the river
And find myself
--Repeatedly...

Behind the Masque Part 2

When the Lights Go Out

Don't forget to read from the beginning

Eventually, my step sister would tire of sitting by idly, watching others enjoy what was supposed to be our celebration. She would want her crutches, no matter how they "ruined [her] outfit" and no matter how clumsy they would be on the dance floor. She would protest now, but thank me later; knowing this, I excused myself  and wandered towards the bathroom then abruptly turned towards the exit when I was sure she wasn't watching.

Enjoy the Moment

a distant firework
flashes in the sky
a blast of light
trailed by soft sparkles
of fire raining down...
and I almost missed it--
almost didn't take the time to look

Success & Narcissism

I'm my own number one fan--
I Love everything I do,
I Agree with everything I say
And I'm always on my side.
I come closer and closer
Strive for more and more...
I can see my goals on the horizon
And I realize how much
I appreciate me.
I see failures as obstacles
And I'm the loudest in the crowd
Encouraging me to get up.
I'm the loudest coach
And the most loving fan
In my corner...
I can't lose.

Beware of Beliefs That Don't Add Up

According to Facebook, Twitter, the lady at the grocery store, regular church goers and a host of other people, the following things are the Mark of the Beast and damnation to hell:

1. Getting 666 tattooed on you
2. Getting a chip implanted in you
3. Getting a barcode tattooed on you
4. Having your bill total to $6.66

Pause for excessive laughter

Why am I laughing?

Because all of the above is absolutely absurd (though I don't think I'd purposely tattoo 666 on me).

Video Game

If only it were as easy
As a puppet and string--
    Walk forward.
    Jump.
   Stop:
And I could control you
Completely--easily.
Yet you're stubborn;
Unwilling to submit
Unwilling to bend...
Beautiful and complex
Foreign and unruly---
It's a battle of wit,
A test of fortitude...
Exasperation
In exchange for satisfaction.

Still shot of the game I'm developing for class. (individual graphics curtesy of www.kenney.nl)

The Little Mermaid

I'm submerged in water
Enjoying the serenity,
Riding the waves along...
I'm comfortable here,
In my own piece of heaven--
But my curiosity carries me away
And at the trough of the wave
I find myself lost....
I want to shed weight
And break like a wave.
Roll on the shore lazily,
Curl my feet in the warm sand
And let the sun kiss my skin.

Perfectionism

I want it to be perfect,
I don't want to see flaws
I don't want mistakes
Permeating
Through half beautiful
Sculptures of perfection...
I can't have a straight line
standing out amongst
Perfect spheres
Or crooked straggles
Unorganized amongst
Perfect shelves...
I need order in my chaos.

Behind the Masque Part 1

The Quiet Before the Storm

That night was the night I watched myself die. Full of music--rhythms and melodies carrying masked faces from one end of the polished dance floor to the other--it was a beautiful night. Ladies in their finest dresses and men in elegant suits, all swirling about. A masquerade ball transported from the 19th century in honor of our--my step sister and I--twenty first birthday. That night was planned to perfection; we had set out to create the illusion of magic bewitching our guests into a perfect fairy tale. We hardly knew that there was a real magic present in our perfect illusion, a magic that we couldn't control. 

Tell Me Lies

Ask me a question,
Lay your insecurities at my feet.
Wish for the answer
You wish you would hear...
Wait silently for confirmation
Of an opinion you value--
A diamond put on display
Encased in a box of glass

A Different Time

If everything was different,
I might look into your eyes,
And if the world was different--
I might focus on your voice...

If this moment were
A different moment,
Walls might have crumbled
And what I might have seen
Might have been different.

To Be or Not To Be

I use to say I could not and would not be a professor. I have little patience and am thoroughly annoyed when people get an attitude with me when I'm trying to help them. I believe there are in fact stupid questions and I have a hard time not appearing annoyed when I'm annoyed.  I hate talking to people all day and I don't like talking when no one is listening. To me these are all bad qualities for a professor. If you asked me what my dream job would be, I'd say give me a desk, a computer,  a window, and no human interaction.

For some reason, however, I always ended up doing things that prepare me for teaching. I tutored in high school. I tutored in college. I'm still tutoring in grad school. I was even a teaching assistant last year. I complain often; I'm annoyed often. And yet, I cannot say no to someone who wants/needs help. I'm enraged when I see students get the short end of the stick. I hate that everyone isn't afforded the same education and am always trying to find away to bridge the gap between the students who had state of the art teachers and equipment versus the students who had teacher who were just babysitting.

When I'm completely honest about why I decided to continue to get a PhD, instead of giving up after the fiasco that was my first graduate school: the truth is I want more people like me with PhDs visible to the future generation. A part of me was very angry that none of my professors seemed to speak English (I'm sorry if English is your second language and that statement offends you, but if I can't understand a professor's English in a school located in the United States, it's a problem). I hated that out of all the students in my graduate department, I was the only Black female. The only thing worse than being a minority is being a triple minority: American, Black, and female. I wouldn't quit, because the only way to break that isolation is to have more people like me attend and more people like me graduate.

Now, that I'm in a less hostile environment, I often question why I'm still here. Every once in a while, I still get that feeling of isolation (I'm one of 2 girls in my lab here and the only Black person, though there are many females and many Blacks in the department). After struggling through this feeling for 25 years, there comes a point where you're just tired, and you wonder, why do I continue down this road? Then I go to study hall, where I tutor, and find people waiting for me to help them. People calling to make sure I'm there to help. And I see the people leave excited and smiling because I've helped them understand something. The next thing I know, I feel like crying. I've never been a crier for sad things; I've definitely never cried for happy things. I'm not sure why, but it means a lot to see someone else avoid everything that drove me crazy.

So here I am, still playing tug-of-war with this idea of becoming a professor... *sigh*

The Fog

Eerie white mist
Floating across gray pavement,
What lurks behind your
Thick obstruction of sight?
Looming large behind hazy bricks
Awaiting unsuspecting victims