Of course, if you know anything about me, you know I used to write daily; writing is a bit of an outlet for me. So the premise of a normal journal and the aspects of a bullet journal started to collide in my mind. One day, I saw a post by Boho Berry about "level 10 life." She divided her life into 10 areas and determined herself to improve upon each area by setting goals. Because I love a good challenge, I went a little extra (overboard, maybe) and created "The ABC's of Improvement."
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| Download the a copy (without the "A for Active Listening" tag) so you can follow along! Color | Plain (B&W) |
Active Listening
I chose active listening for the letter A because I come from a family of talkers. Despite being an introvert and having a preference to being alone, when I do talk to people, I often find myself dominating the conversation. Sometimes I'll stop to say hi to someone and find that it's 2 hours later when the conversation ends. I want to make sure that a) I'm not being rude and over-talking people, b) I'm listening to the other people in the conversation, not just waiting for my chance to speak, and c) that these conversations are meaningful for everyone involved. Active listening refers to both listening to people with the speak, but also being present in the conversation. Below are the journaling (or thinking if you're not a journal-er) points for the month:- What is something that distracts you in a conversation? Why does it distract you?
- Think of something someone told you today, recount the conversation from the other person’s point of view.
- Think about what annoys you most in a conversation. Why does this annoy you and is there a way to avoid this behavior.
- Words and phrases may have different connotations across cultures. Think about how this can derail a conversation and reflect on a time when this may have hindered communication.
- Nonverbal communication is key, recount the nonverbal tone of a conversation you had today and how that may have differed from what was said
- Interrupting is the worse, recount a time today when you interrupted someone and reflect and whether it was actually important and urgent enough to warrant an interruption.
- No one likes someone who won’t stop talking; focus on cues that signal a conversation’s end. What do you do when you want a conversation to end?
- Think about behaviors that bug you when you’re speaking to someone, why do these behaviors bother you? Have you ever done the same thing?
- We often misunderstand what’s being said to us; in a conversation summarize what you think the person said for clarification and see how often you weren’t on the same page.
- Sometimes interruptions or abrupt exits are necessary, think about the most polite way accomplish this and how to handle these situations
- Think about topics that cause you to dominate the conversation. Why do like to lead this discussion? What can you learn from others about this topic?
- Think about a conversation where you zoned out. Why wasn’t the conversation engaging? Before zoning out, could you have steered the conversation to a better course?
- In a group conversation, take note of how often everyone speaks, was it even? Did the person who spoke the most have something interesting/important to say? Was someone left out?
- Both people should gain something from a conversation. After each conversation, think about what you’ve learned from the conversation. If you didn’t learn anything, why do you think that is?
- Reflect on the tone of all the conversations you’ve had today; were the primarily positive or negative? How did you contribute to the tone of these conversations?
- A lot of times we can’t listen because we’re thinking about our selves, try to have a conversation in which you are completely focused on the other person.
- What is something you do that you think might distract others while you are talking? While they are talking?
- What makes for a good conversation?
- When we have other things on our mind our ability to converse with others is weakened. Contemplate what distractions are worth postponing conversations.
- There’s a fine line between prying and engaging in the conversation. Where do you think the line is? Does it change from person to person?
- Can you discern when you’re speaking with someone who is shy? Look for cues in your conversations and brainstorm ways to make them feel comfortable in the conversation
- Reflect on the shortest conversation you had today. Why was it brief? Was it meaningful?
- Reflect on the longest conversation you had today. Was it meaningful? Who dominated the conversation? Did it make sense for that person to dominate?
- Facial expressions play a major part in conversations. What does your face say to people when you talk?
- Emotions can make it more difficult to listen to someone else. Can you tell when you’ve stopped listening?
- Think about the least interesting conversation you had today. Why wasn’t it interesting? What would have made it better?
- Try to remember a conversation from earlier this month. Can you remember details of the interaction? Facial expressions, emotions, the way the person said something?
- Who is your favorite person to listen to? Why do you like listening to them?
- Compare your textual conversations with your physical conversations. Does anything change? Are you better at listening on one medium than the other?
- Reflect on how your listening skills have changed over time, particularly over the course of this month.
