Every time I go to the dentist I have the craziest thoughts; I wish I could live tweet them (and I don't even tweet like that!). Today, I tried to memorize them and after the visit I jotted them on my phone to share.
In the Lobby
- Ok, I can do this!
- (Every time they call someone else's name as I wait)I don't know if I'm annoyed or happy they haven't called my name yet.
- (When they finally call my name)Oh that's me...
- This is going to go better than last time!
In the Seat
- Yes, I want my gums numb.
- Are you sure you numbed my gums?
- No, this isn't better than last time.
- What happened to the numbing stuff?
- Have you ever told anyone their teeth were ok?
- Of course not, how would you afford to live if you did...
- Oh you want me to get my wisdom teeth out. How much is that?
- $4,000! Riiiiigggghhhht.
- It's just like college; I'm paying to have my self esteem decimated and be tortured.
- Actually, are you sure you went to dental school and not some government torture training facility?
- Am I dying?
- Maybe this is what they meant by don't go into the light, that's a bright light...
- Why are you asking me questions!?!
- You're ruining my near death experience.
- Oh she brought out the death tool.
- Can I die in peace please?
- Oh, I'm not dead...whew
- I survived!
Checking Out
- Another appointment?
- Is 28 to young to have dentures?
- If I get fake teeth I don't have to come back, right?
- No, you still can't take my wisdom teeth out.
- I have to come back?
- Ok fine...
- 6 months until I have to do this again.
- *deep breath*
- (As I sign the receipt)Crap, I'm poor.
- (Looking in the rearview mirror of the car)My teeth look exactly the same...
