How It Is

You want me to be strong
To stand up tall
       even when I'm wounded
To hold back the tears
       even when I've been shot
To be invincble: Super Woman
And then you tell me I'm like steel--
That I'm heartless...

Laws of Attraction

It's nice when everything just kinda falls in place. But it doesn't happen like that often (not for me at least). I'm always on one side or the other of a one sided attraction. I'm not sure what's worse, knowing whats happening or being naive to the situation...

On the one hand, you can be the one pushing someone away. I've known plenty of guys that are clearly attempting to get closer to me. Asking for a date, texting, calling--the typical methods. You know when you get the text from person x and you're disappointed because you wanted a text from person y... Eventually you find yourself annoyed at no fault of theirs. You have something in common. You might even be physically attracted to the person. But something keeps you from actually liking the person. For me, I'm either already attracted to someone else or in one case I couldn't imagine ever introducing the person to my family--they wouldn't fit at all, so that would have been a moot relationship... I don't really know what other people's reasons are but I guess they're similar.

'Tis The Season

Jesus is the reason for the season.

As a child, Christmas = presents. Sure I did the Christmas play at church and said my speech. But I left cookies and milk out for Santa and I wrote my wish list for Santa (and the family). You know, its strange how mangled together the celebration of Jesus' birth and Santa's gift giving is. When I was younger (probably middle school aged) I tried to separate the traditions in my head.

It seemed to me that the idea of placing a star (or an angel) on the top of a tree came from the biblical passages about the birth of Christ. These would symbolize the angel and the star that guided the wise men, perhaps. Naturally the notion of gift exchange would fall under the lore of Santa Claus--though a person at my church did try to convince me that it was from the wise men bringing Jesus gifts.  I think that's a bit of a stretch. A lot of other things were left in question... Why decorate your yard with lights? Why pine and holly? Green and Red?