It's nice when everything just kinda falls in place. But it doesn't happen like that often (not for me at least). I'm always on one side or the other of a one sided attraction. I'm not sure what's worse, knowing whats happening or being naive to the situation...
On the one hand, you can be the one pushing someone away. I've known plenty of guys that are clearly attempting to get closer to me. Asking for a date, texting, calling--the typical methods. You know when you get the text from person x and you're disappointed because you wanted a text from person y... Eventually you find yourself annoyed at no fault of theirs. You have something in common. You might even be physically attracted to the person. But something keeps you from actually liking the person. For me, I'm either already attracted to someone else or in one case I couldn't imagine ever introducing the person to my family--they wouldn't fit at all, so that would have been a moot relationship... I don't really know what other people's reasons are but I guess they're similar.
And on the other hand, I'm the person that sends the "hey! how are you?" text and four years later gets a "fine" in response. You feel like you're dragging every word from the person--you can't introduce them to the real you for them to know if they like you or not because they won't talk to you! First instinct says there's someone else, or they aren't physically attracted to you. I've had times neither of these was the case too, though. Its quite frustrating because you wonder what it is that you did wrong. Unfortunately, its human nature to want to know what's wrong and to be frustrated by failure. What's worse for me, is that moment I realize I'm doing the same thing to someone else.
Why can't it just all line up nicely? Well, that would be too easy. Where's the fun in that?
I've learned that sometimes you have to just let go. Maybe you have to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how awesome you are for a little while, and maybe you feel some kinda way for a little while, but at the end of the day sometimes you have to say oh well.
I'm a believer that there's someone out there for everybody. Maybe you found them in high school. Maybe you found them in college. Maybe you're still waiting. It's alright. In the words of a good friend, "just because you're alone, doesn't mean you have to be lonely."
