Children are the Future


Children see the entire world in a different way than adults. The innocence of discovery is something we all enjoyed. I often wonder, had people not interjected certain ideas into my mind at certain times, where would my childlike mind had lead me? So here's to nostalgia, to innocence, and the people that will become our future.


An Apple A Day


Living a healthy life is important, and many people take their concerns with eating right or losing weight to unhealthy extremes. This month, I'll be talking about eating habits, sharing some of my favorite recipes, and focusing on healthy choices.

Legends of Africa


One thing I've noticed during my years attending predominately white schools and having circles of friends that are more diverse, is that the major factor in racism and prejudice is ignorance. There is a lot about black culture that many non-blacks just don't know. Often this lack of awareness rears its head in the form of ignorant assumptions and awkward questions. The Legends of Africa series touches on topics that may be extremely familiar to blacks, but may not be familiar to non-blacks.

Religion & Theology


I've always been interested in Religion & Theology. As I child, I questioned everything. I wanted to know why this denomination was different from that denomination. I wanted to know how Christianity differed from Islam, and how they differed from Buddhism, etc. I found that as I studied with the faith of a believer and the open mind of scientist, the world of religion started to make more sense and I was able to form beliefs that I don't question. April 2015 is dedicated to my journey to those beliefs.

Circus of Words Put Your Best Foot Forward

Friday, April 04, 2014

Put Your Best Foot Forward

Put Your Best Foot Forward

Walk Like A Celebrity

Every time I open my mouth
The world is ready to criticize--
They call me a role model,
Say I represent my generation
That I inspire others
For better or worse,
And my actions are reflected in the masses.
What I say and do echos
Reverberates around the campus
Comes back tenfold
For better or worse.
A constant reminder 
That my actions are not invisible--
I have the power to make a difference
For better or worse
To effect change
In myself,
In the community.
If I think before I act.

Image from +IndependentFashionBloggers

Becoming an Unofficial Spokesperson for All Members

Right before I made the transition from non-Greek to Greek, my prophyte1 warned me that once I was introduced to the campus as a member of my organization, I would no longer be identified as myself but as the organization. When people said do you know Eillya-Mari--well, they'd be using my real name of course ☺--the point of reference was always my organization. If the person knew me, the response was "yeah she's a <insert my organization2>" and if the person didn't know me, the asker would say "you know the <insert my organization>." Since returning to my alma mater for graduate school, I've met people who already know me, solely because I was a member of my organization and they often remember specific things about me they'd observed while I was here. People associate me with my organization and they associate my organization with me.

1A prophyte is someone who has been through a membership intake process as a member of the organization.

2In an effort to remain non-biased I will refrain from revealing my affiliation

Realizing the Ramifications
of Your Actions

In a way, it's like being a celebrity. You learn quickly that if you are in the wrong, people will take note; they will talk, tweet, and instagram your missteps with a vengeance. In some cases, maybe the misstep you took isn't something you even consider a misstep (like wearing something that's out of season), but as I said earlier, the association goes both ways. Everything you do, post, tweet, and say, is associated with your organization and its members. There's nothing I hate more than a soror that appears in public shaming my letters, be it with ratchet behavior, inappropriate attire, poor attitude, or the like. People will associate her with me, and assume those traits are traits of my organization. On the surface, it seems like a negative but it's actually a very compelling way to hold each member accountable for his/her actions. When everyone in your organization is putting the pressure on you to behave in a manner exemplifying what the organization stands for, it's called positive peer pressure, and it can be very effective. (Yes I know that some chapters have strayed from their founding principles and employ negative peer pressure, however it is up to you to choose a chapter and organization that is upholding beliefs and ideals you agree with). 

A Personal Example

When I joined my organization, I was pretty much a loner. I came and went without paying any attention to trends in fashion, language, music, events... Little did I know, many people thought I was unfriendly because I was disengaged with the community. I didn't always attend events and if I did I wasn't going to be the one talking to every person in the room. When I wasn't Greek, people shrugged it off and assumed I was unfriendly, but once I was crossed people were always watching. If I didn't seem friendly, it wasn't Eillya-Mari is unfriendly, it was <insert my organization> are unfriendly, especially at our events; it was rude for me to be unsociable. As an introvert, I don't instinctively have a desire to speak to people, but as a member of my organization I was obligated make people feel welcome at our events. It was my responsibility to ensure the organization was seen as friendly to potential new members, fellow greeks, and other members of the community. While I still prefer to be in my own bubble, this was an adjustment that made networking in professional settings a breeze. Most people I meet now have no idea I'm an introvert and everyone describes me as friendly. I didn't change as a person, but due to my sorors urging and the scrutiny of the campus, I was able to identify the disconnect between how others saw me and how I saw myself. This is a very useful skill, because people often see a different portrait of you than you think you are painting.
Ree Hughes
Eillya-Marí Kocumba

I love to write. Sometimes its graceful and classic--like a trapeze act--or bold and brave--like a lion tamer--perhaps a little humorous--like a clown. This is my circus of words.

Right now, my blog is mostly poetry (which naturally covers a wide range of topics). Everyone says great blogs have a niche, a specific topic they hone in to write about. I'm still working that out, I guess. In the mean time, you can use the menu in archive page to narrow down the topics you wish to see.

Welcome to the site. Feel free to comment and I hope you enjoy.

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