For those sick of reading I'll skip to (hopefully) a more straight forward point and some clarifications. Then I'll tell you what brought it about.
Clarifications:
1) I agree with the Dove Campaign.2) I hate Victoria Secret and I don't shop there
3) Bigger women (and men) are beautiful
4) Dark skinned people are beautiful
Point:
People should be able to embrace their beauty without having to say anything negative about any one else.Further Clarifications:
According to my friend it read as though the point was that I didn't like the Dove Campaign because they didn't put a skinnier girl in the ad. No, that was a side comment in relation to the motivation I had for writing it. I'll explain the motivation in detail later, but for now we'll start with the quote from the beginning. "I like my friend's new girlfriend because she's chunky and has meat on her bones" Ok, lets skip the fact that we should like people because of their character not their size (or color). This particular comment is for me, as I mentioned in part 1, a projection of my own insecurity on to the comment. When I heard it I heard, "I would rather him date a chunky girl than a skinny girl." Is that what they meant? I don't know, but I do know that various people have both flat out said as well as implied that I'm too skinny, sickly looking, and boyish shaped. (Side note: for those of you who've met me recently I was about 20 lbs less in high school when I got the bulk of these comments, still get a few though). So my side comment was in reference to I'd like to be considered "real" as well. While I may be small I don't look like a Victoria Secret model at all. My friend made the comment how could he tell a bigger girl we're all beautiful if she hasn't figured out she's beautiful. Touche. So I'm going to pause to say you are beautiful.Motivation:
My friend said I can't compare my experience because I'm one person. Well, that's the root of my motivation right there. Let's get personal, let's talk about me and why I would write what I wrote. I've always been a believer in equality: equality between blacks and whites, between dark and light, between big and small, tall and short, you name it. It would be ideal if we could all just exist and be happy, but unfortunately we aren't there yet. I've found myself advocating for the darker girl and for the bigger girl. Just a week ago I told another friend that he was an idiot for saying he only dated light-skinned girls. I've gone to the mall with friends who are bigger than me and listened to them complain. I've reassured them that they look great. I've tried to help them find flattering clothes. But every time I've said anything about me--the fact that I've caught flack for being light, that I can't find clothes that fit, etc.--people have jumped down my throat. My friend pointed out that's what a white person would say about black people--they should (that's a post for another day). I'm not living in a perfect world, and while I can't speak for other people "like me" I doubt they are either. My point was not to say you shouldn't empower yourself, but to remind people that in empowering yourself you can still be respectful to people on the other side of the spectrum. Yes, there are people who talk crap about you, if you want to curse them out and call them names (while I don't recommend it), I totally understand. But for those who do support you, before you make snide comments or decide that you don't have to be equally (or at least partially) supportive, stop and think about it. That is what I meant about positive pride.I'm not sure if this clarifies completely or not. If not, part 3 may appear.
